3 Mindset Shifts For Those Who Struggle To Rest
A kitten with orange fur lays in a white plush cat bed. Her eyes are closed and one paw reaches over the side. She looks peaceful and at ease.
Rest: it’s the one thing we all need in our lives, and yet, why is it so hard to allow ourselves some space for it?
In a culture that rewards speed and progress and celebrates bigger and better, it’s hard to give ourselves the permission to unplug, slow down and just be. This is especially hard for achievers who value learning and growing and yet it’s critical to prevent burnout and promote a healthy relationship between work and life.
If you’re someone who struggles to slow down but craves a bit more space in your life, I invite you to test out these three mindset shifts. They will leave you thinking differently about how you approach rest and relaxation and my hope is that they help you see that you are worth every bit of the rest you crave.
You are not lazy. You are recharging. Do you ever fantasize about getting into your favorite sweatpants, snuggling into the couch and getting lost in your favorite Netflix show all day? I certainly have those moments, but if you’re anything like me, you might hear that voice in the back of my mind telling you that if you dare enjoy a glorious day on the couch, you’re lazy. You could be doing laundry. You could be catching up on that work project. You could be exercising or moving your body. The reality is that you always COULD be doing something else, but why not give yourself the permission to enjoy a slow day every now and again? You are not the energizer bunny and you can’t keep going and going and going without a break. By taking time to rest and be still, you are not being lazy, you are recharging. When we take time to recharge, we can come back with clearer mind and with more energy. Remember this the next time your inner critic dares to call you the “L” word.
Self-care is not selfish. I can see why you might think self-care is selfish because both of these words center our own selves. However in practice, they have totally different meanings. Let’s break it down. To be selfish is to focus on yourself with a complete disregard for others. Self-care is truly about the opposite. It is about caring for yourself and your own needs which will allow you to better serve others. With both, you are focusing on yourself, but it’s the intention behind it that matters.
Rest, joy and relaxation are all productive. The number one thing I hear from my overworked and overwhelmed clients is this: I feel my best if I have been productive. They want to start setting better boundaries with their work and stop committing so much of themselves to others, but yet, there’s this internal measure of worth that comes from being productive. These women define productivity as completing tasks, taking action, and crossing things off the to-do list. So here’s my simple hack for inviting more rest, joy and relaxation into your life: add it to your to-do list. The formal definition of productive is to achieve or produce a specific result. What if your result were to feel lighter? What if you were achieving inner peace? Make it a non-negotiable part of your day to pause, invite in stillness and simply be. Those moments of quiet are helping you to get in touch with yourself and tap into your creativity so you can come back and be your best self out in the world.
The next time you find yourself longing for a bit of slowness, but your mind wants to stop you to prevent you from feeling lazy, selfish or unproductive, think again.
Make rest and relaxation non-negotiable and use these mindset shifts to help you as you say yes to rest in your life more.
Which one resonates most?
On the left: Text reads “It’s time to start living big and living fully, commit to yourself & creating a life you’re proud of.” Below is a radio button that says “Tell me more!” and by clicking the photo, you are directed to a page where you can learn more about coaching with Lauren.
On the right: There is a picture of Lauren, smiling, sitting on a park bench with her laptop.
