How to Live a Fulfilled Life
The silhouette of a woman stands, balancing one foot on a rock with her arms spread out beside her, in front of a beautiful orange and yellow setting sun.
Recently, a client told me it looked like I had it all figured out.
She told me it looked like I was balancing work, life, purpose, and fulfillment and she wanted to know how I got there so she could do the same.
First and foremost, no one ever has it all figured out. I do not have it all figured out. I am learning new things about myself and growing in new ways every single day.
But I did accept what she shared with me as a compliment. That she sees me doing work I love while also building a life I am proud of too.
And in that moment, I paused to think: what has really changed over the last few years that allowed me to get to this place?
Because, trust me, I did NOT always feel this grounded in who I am.
Years ago, I was on a journey to transition in my career and find the kind of work that would light me up and excite me. I wanted to do work that meant something to me. I wanted to feel fulfilled. During those years of soul searching, there were many days where I felt hopeless and I thought I’d never find something I really loved. I had NO idea who I was outside of the version of myself who had plans to climb the corporate ladder until retirement. I knew it wasn’t for me, but I also was terrified to step into anything new.
If you’re feeling that way too, know that you are not alone. Many of the women I work with want something more for their life, but are scared to step into that newness because they don’t know where to begin and because embarking on anything new is scary.
During my reflection, I could think of one big change I’ve made over the last five years that’s greatly impacted how I was able to transition in my career and it’s this:
Stop saying yes to resume builders and start saying yes to enriching experiences.
What do I mean by a resume builder?
To me, a resume builder is something that you do just because you think you “should” or because it looks “good” or “impressive” to someone else.
Compare that to an enriching experience which adds value and worth and meaning to your life.
Early in my career, I said yes often. To join a new committee. To take on a new project. To lead a new initiative. And through those years, I had many great experiences and met incredible people, however my motivation behind saying yes, led me to feel overwhelmed, overworked and unfulfilled. I was filling my plate with many things I’d call resume builders. Things I thought would look good to others and sound impressive at family gatherings. But they weren’t necessarily things that lit me up, leveraged my strengths or left my feeling excited.
Later in my career, I knew I was ready to make a change. I wanted to feel fulfilled by my work and the ways I was spending my time. So I started to get really good at fine tuning what I call my “yes muscle.” That is, not volunteering or agreeing to something unless I did a gut check first. I’d ask myself:
Am I excited about this opportunity?
Do I have space in my calendar to fit this in?
Will I be able to develop skills I want to develop?
Is this an experience I will be proud to have?
I set out to collect experiences, not because they looked or appeared a certain way to others, but rather because they made me feel good.
They made me feel connected to myself and they aligned with who I was and what I wanted for my life.
I offer this suggestion to many of the clients I work with because I believe that if we want to be fulfilled, we have to seek out and say yes to collecting experiences not just because it looks impressive or sounds prestigious to others. We have to build a life full of enriching experiences that help us grow into the people we want to become. The real authentic versions of us and not the people we think we’re supposed to be.
If you want to truly live well and feel fulfilled in your life and career, be intentional with how you spend your time. Stop saying yes to things to build a resume to show off to someone else and start building the life resume you’re proud to live.
Collect as many enriching experiences as you can. And better yet, bring someone you love along the way.
What is something you did recently that enriched your life? What will you say yes to next?
On the left: Text reads “It’s time to start living big and living fully, commit to yourself & creating a life you’re proud of.” Below is a radio button that says “Tell me more!” and by clicking the photo, you are directed to a page where you can learn more about coaching with Lauren.
On the right: There is a picture of Lauren, smiling, sitting on a park bench with her laptop.
