On Finding Your Truth
Opening note from LSG: I wrote this post back in January 2019 in a word document titled “Blog Posts” for my someday blog. And here we are! With a real blog on the internet! I am so excited to share this story with you. Just wait until you see how it ends. I’m still in awe.
Thanks to Facebook, I can see memories on any given day for many years from my past. I love looking back at old pictures or reading a quote that I shared. It reminds me of who I once was, the things I once felt, and allows me to reflect on where I am today. The memories aren’t ALL that poetic (okay fine, most of them aren’t poetic at all), but there are a few where I think to myself, “Damn, I was wise.” For example, on December 8, 2013, I wrote: “No one should ever eat Taco Bell after midnight.” That’s some solid advice from 24-year-old Lauren.
There was a point, not too long ago, where I was really struggling, trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my life. I would read about people loving their jobs and think: Is it really possible to love what you do for a living? Was it really possible to live a life where I did not pray for Friday afternoons to come sooner? And dread the coming of Sunday evening?
These thoughts were the source of crippling anxiety. And I’d go on and on about it to anyone who would listen. And it went on for years.
I was so unhappy but also unhappy with myself for being unhappy in the first place.
Why couldn’t I just be grateful? I had financial stability, a safe home, a loving husband, a healthy heart, and strong legs. I was making 6 figures at a company with tremendous opportunity for growth. I had no student loans, a new car and had been fortunate enough to travel to amazing places around the world. What “more” could I want? And yet day after day, I felt it. I felt the pull towards more.
What I really wanted, more than anything, was to live my truth.
I had no idea what that meant or how to do that, but I wanted it because I heard Oprah talk about it, and Oprah makes everything sound good. I read books, listened to podcasts, bought online courses, and networked with people in my industry, hoping that someday, someone would say something that would lead me to where I was meant to be.
After months of therapy, many tears and countless hugs from my patient and loving husband, something clicked. My husband was away for the weekend and I had a lot of time to myself, with my thoughts. I wrote and I read and I meditated. What was next for me? What change could I make to bring my life more happiness? I woke up one morning that weekend and decided to start searching for new jobs. I asked myself: What else am I good at? What else can I do to make a difference in the world? I knew I loved people and relationships and personal growth. I knew I loved teaching and leading and helping others reach their goals. I loved journaling and thinking and strategy. This led me to google, “Career Coach” and instantly I found a job opportunity that made my heart race. I had never felt so energized about my career.
I immediately started working on my resume, emailed some old colleagues and called my family. I felt a weight lifted at just the idea of this job. This is what it must feel like to truly be energized and passionate about your work! My mind was spinning. This is the feeling I was chasing.
So when the Facebook memories come up for January 13, I’ll see a few amazing memories. In 2017, it was the night before my wedding and our rehearsal dinner. In 2018, it was the night we went to dinner to celebrate our first anniversary. But the memory you won’t see, the one that I hold near and dear to my heart, is that January 13, 2019 is the day I found my truth. I saw me for me and not what anyone else wanted for me. I began chasing a dream that lit my heart on fire and no one else’s.
I started to build a career that I was made for while feeling proud of where I came from.
I didn’t get it until now, but Oprah was right. Finding your truth is the most powerful tool you have. Not only because it enables you to better serve others, but because it enables you to better serve yourself. To live the life you imagined. To live the life you were made for.
Closing note from LSG: As I was going through that old document of blog posts recently, I was in complete shock to learn that January 13, the day I claimed to have “found my truth” was also the day I launched my business website exactly 3 years later. When I chose January 13 as my launch date, I had NO idea that it was the same date that I wrote about in the post and I am truly in complete awe. What a special day and I don’t think any of it is a coincidence. I believe it’s the combination of commitment to myself and my personal growth AND the universe doing it’s magical work to help me end up where I was supposed to be. If you’re in a season of waiting, hang on. Stay committed. Magical things are happening in your life that you can’t yet see. Keep pushing forward. Keep growing.
