Are You in the Driver’s Seat?

A person sitting in the driver’s seat of a car. They’re holding the steering wheel and driving into the bright of the sun.

I’m a dreamer. Figuratively, yes, but also literally.

I often wake up after a night’s rest and remember my dreams. Some of them make no sense (I was trying to save the world from a giant puppy), some of them are scary (zombies are chasing me) and some of them are so full of wisdom that I immediately wake up and take notes because they have to be shared with the world. 

I bet you can guess which kind of dream I’m going to tell you about today.

From what I can remember, the dream started with me walking to my car after a work event. Though I don’t remember the details, it was the kind of event held at a big convention center. My gut tells me it was an all day leadership seminar or training event because I was with a prior boss, we’ll call him Joe. Joe and I walked out of the building and into the attached parking garage where I was looking for my car to drive home.

Now, I want you to pause for a moment and picture the specific kind of parking garage that I was in. It was big and many stories high, and to get back down to the main road, you had to ride around in circles like a corkscrew. This garage looked like a hot wheels track taken straight from my childhood where the cars go round and round and round until they reach the ground level. 

Got your visual? Okay, good. Now, back to the dream.

The next thing I remember is that I am now driving down said corkscrew shaped parking garage and having a hard time steering the car. I’m moving fast and I begin to panic when I notice:

Joe’s in the driver’s seat. And I’m steering the car from the passenger’s seat.

Soon after Joe and I start swirling around at a speed much too fast, we crash. We crash right into the cement guard rails that gave the corkscrew its shape.

It was then that I woke up and had the major light bulb moment.

There are people in your life you may be working hard to impress. Your family, your friends, your co-workers, the list goes on. Your Ego tells you, you have to keep achieving. You have to keep doing. You can’t slow down because if you do, you won’t be able to keep up. And if you don’t (or god forbid you can’t), you’re good for nothing.

But what do you give up in this constant pursuit of perfection? In always trying to please others?

You give up the steering wheel. Not just to the car, but to your life. 

You give up the ability to lead your own life in a way that is truly authentic to you.

This was a symbolic dream for me, after over a decade chasing roles, promotions and achievements simply because I wanted to be impressive. Simply because I was afraid of following my own heart. And really, it was because I had no idea what my heart wanted in the first place. That’s what happens after spending your life doing exactly as you think you “should.”

My guess is that you might do this too. And that you might be disconnected from your own heart’s desires. When that happens, it leads to unhappiness, unfulfillment and sends you on a relentless search for that “something” that’s missing.

That something is the real, authentic you. The one that exists under the cloud of all the people you think you “should” be.

The global pandemic we’re facing has brought us much loss, suffering and pain over the last few years, but for some, it’s also been the catalyst for re-evaluation and personal growth. 

My ask of you today is that you pause and reflect: Are you in the driver’s seat?

You belong there.

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