Overwhelmed by your busy schedule? Read this.

I had a completely free Sunday. My husband had plans all day and I found myself alone with no commitments, deadlines, plans or to-dos.

At first mention, this might sound dreamy. Quiet, peaceful, alone time. But if you’re someone who is used to filling your schedule to the brim, and constantly moving from one thing to the next, you may understand that having too much alone time can leave you feeling restless. 

I know this because it’s my struggle. A never-ending cycle I’ve been working to break for years.

Here’s how it works: you fill, fill, fill your calendar until you’re being pulled in a million different directions. You tell yourself you can do it all but in the midst of it, all you want is some free time with nothing to do. Except that the moment you have nothing to do, you jump right back in and want to fill, fill, fill that space with something because I SHOULD BE DOING SOMETHING PRODUCTIVE RIGHT NOW!

Anyway, back to my story.

I decided to reach out to a friend I hadn’t seen in a few months and asked if she wanted to have lunch. We exchanged a few messages and agreed to meet at our favorite local spot. Yay! Plans! My day of complete freeness was now partially booked with a lunch date. Good food. Good company. Ahhh, relief. I had something to do. 

A few hours later, that same friend reached out and very honestly changed her mind. She said there was a lot going on in her life, she had been “go go go” for a few weeks, and she really wanted a day with nothing to do. She was worried about how I’d react if she told me the truth - that she was in fact free, but preferred staying home.

The “ah-ha” moment hit me. 

I was immediately understanding, having been in this situation before, and was struck by the idea that we, as a society, feel we have to explain ourselves when we simply don’t want to do something. There are memes all over the internet claiming “my favorite plans are canceled plans” or “I have plans but I am secretly hoping you’ll cancel last minute.” How many times has that been you? I know I have felt that way about plans with people I love dearly. It has nothing to do with them and everything to do with me always filling my calendar with more to do.

Working full-time and juggling many other aspects of life (health, relationships, family, etc.) leaves us with limited hours to spend doing both the things we need to do and want to do. And I know that I always feel pressure to fill up every minute of that time so that I am maximizing my productivity.

But what if we just took a minute, an hour, a day to slow down? To pause. What if we were honest with our friends and family and said “I’d love to see you, but I need some time for me today.”

Would it upset you to hear a loved one say that to you? 

I was so proud of my friend for her honesty. And hearing her ask for some unscheduled time, made me want to ask for it more too. 

To the day with no plans: you don’t get enough credit. You aren’t celebrated enough. You are more valuable than any other jam-packed day in my schedule. You are more powerful than any other item crossed off my to-do list.

Time to simply be. 

To the day with no plans: we all need more of you.